MA’S YOGA
I invite you
to read my understanding of ‘Ma’ prior to reading this blog, so you may have insight
into what I am referring to – Ma is not a woman or a man, it is the invisible
essence of life, whether that is male or female or without gender. It is consciousness that gives us all life, it
is not personal yet it lights up each unique expression of itself, it is the
animating force of everything and the source from where it pulses from. It is both form and formless. Nothing exists outside
of consciousness, it is all of existence. It is that which you see leave the
body if you have the blessing to be with someone as they die, you are very
aware that the essence of your loved one has now left the form. I refer to this
as ‘Ma’ as it is the innate wisdom that gives us the gift of life and love.
When Yoga
first arrived in my life I had no idea of all that was going to unfold! I had no idea about the depth of what yoga is
and as many people do, I thought it was a form of exercise not a spiritual
practice. My beautiful Mam took me to my first ever yoga class when I was a
child, we went with a group of her friends to the local sports centre. I wish I could say that we continued on with
the classes but it was a onetime only visit as I couldn’t stop laughing when
someone passed wind really loudly in the class, Mam was giggling too so we
never returned! Little did we know that
Yoga would fully land again in Dec 1999 and bring such change in our lives. Mam
has played a big part in the growth from Michele Lambert Yoga to Ma’s Yoga, from
that very first giggly class together till her last breath. She is honoured as a fundamental part of this
name change.
This is the
third change of name for the website, each change has arrived after inner
shifts and a deeper understanding of what yoga is. The first version “Michele Lambert Yoga”
arrived as the first website. I was
enjoying the ‘Yoga Teacher’ role and being physically able, after feeling quite
clumsy and awkward as a teen this was a good balancer. I perceived there could be something called Michele
Lambert Yoga that was mine. Life was
about to show me otherwise! It was a
time I was delving further into the philosophy of yoga and I started teaching Foundation
courses. The meeting of ourselves on the mat is only one small part of how we
practice yoga, our honest self-inquiry is another part and how we flow with
everyday life is the greatest teacher of all.
Life presented me with many different big challenges that shook my very
foundations, that highlighted the shadows within so I could not turn away any
longer.
It was
during these times of great change the first Saktipata occurred. I had read about
different peoples experiences of unexplained great inner change that suddenly
arrives but I had not heard of Saktipata.
I had studied The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali and read the process of what
I now know to be the description of meditation. This ancient text is often mis
understood. Patanjali’s yoga sutras were
built further upon by the Tantrikas that followed. The initial experience came out of the blue
when I was relaxing with my partner at that time. When I looked out the window my whole
perception of reality had completely changed, it was like looking through a lens
at the opticians that was out of focus and then that lens is removed allowing
you to see clearly once more. Even
though all I saw still had individual forms I no longer saw them as separate, I
only saw Oneness for lack of a better description. I saw that we are all one thing just in
different shapes moving about but still just the one! I know that my words will only ever be
pointers to this fundamental shift in the experience of reality. Below is a quote from Tantra Illuminated, pgs
152-156, by Christopher D. Wallis, which I feel also help to point towards this
initial experience.
“The
scriptures clarify that the descent of power (grace) is not a literal descent
of energy from a higher place, though for some it can feel like that; rather,
it is an awakening of the divine power (sakti) within you that will lead you to
your ultimate liberation. It is in fact
more like an ascent than a descent; but the term saktipata is used both because
it is inherited from earlier Saiva tradition and because the word “pata”
(descent) has a connotation of a sudden, forceful fall, a startling experience
that comes out of the blue, as it were.
Saktipata is unprecedented, a primordial opening to a deeper level of
being. Furthermore, the language of
descent (or ascent) connotes that the awakening in question is truly a vertical
movement because it takes us out of the endless fruitless horizontal circling
of our “normal” life, deepening us into our innate being, opening us to the
greater reality”.
I was
suddenly seeing reality as it actually is and no longer from a limited
perception, this lasted for a few months, but overtime the initial intensity
shifted, the inner change had begun. I
did not have the insight at that time to realise that was just the start of the
unfolding of awakening not the end! The
initial Saktipata had happened, I was gifted with the direct experience of how
reality actually is and then the work began in stabilising as that.
“In order to complete the process of expanding
back into the fullness of your divine nature, you will have to let go of
everything you think you are”, Christopher D.Wallis.
At the time
of the Tantrikas a teacher would not accept somebody to be a student of yoga if
there were no signs that Shaktipata had not already happened, very different to
these current times!
It was at
this time that ‘Yoga with Michele Lambert’ website was born, to honour this
shift that had occurred, I had direct experience of something way beyond the
limited identity I called me! What
followed has probably been the most difficult and some of the most incredible
10 years of my life so far. The most awe
inspiring and the most grief stricken. Meditation,
self-inquiry, nada yoga, shamanic practices, study of tantrik texts, guided the
way through these years, along with a change of asana practice and supported somatic
trauma work. Once there has been such an
expansion into reality as it is, all the stuffed down trauma and pain starts to
‘rise up’, life will bring challenges to clearly show us where we are not flowing
from our innate wisdom. Each
circumstance will be an opportunity to embody what has been revealed or drop
back into identification. Each time I
dropped back into identification it became more & more painful, as I was
separating from what I knew to be true. I was being shown where I was making
wrong judgements about circumstances, where I was trying to impose my beliefs
upon others and where I was not connecting with the person in front of me. I
started to experience memories of childhood trauma that I could no longer
repress, it was a major time of facing the truth. It was through these experiences I came to
understand what had happened was not the end of a process but a major turning
point. I was being constantly reminded to just be true to what had been revealed. It was a big shake up time into being truly
authentic and to realise the meaning of authenticity.
After each Shaktipata
(there were 3 big shifts) there was roughly a 2-year period of integration that
followed, life experiences giving the fertile ground to digest and integrate
what had been revealed. The chance to
walk the talk. It has unveiled great
inner resilience to meet life in all its many ways it’s going to show up, not
pushing away perceived painful or difficult situations and not trying to hang
onto blissful, joyful experiences. I
have been blessed with knowing the love that flows from within, the peace that
is not dependent on life being a certain way and the depths of silence amidst
my wails of grief on the passing of my Dear Mam.
This is the
magical dance that we are invited to dance.
The wisdom that has been revealed, once digested, has been shared with
love. It is incredible to see the ripples of Ma working her magic through the
lovely community that has grown and through the tapestry of life. As each one is flowing with their inner work,
allowing the fullness of what it means to be human to fully come back online,
this nourishes deep connection & healing within the community. I see the descent of shakti happening through
the community, this hasn’t been unique to me or something for me to claim as
special, I share to enliven the fullness of what yoga is, what you can orient
yourself towards if you wish to directly experience for yourself. As the layers of conditioning drop away in us,
the frozen parts of our nature melt, the more life starts to expand through us
all. You can see that shining through in
pictures of moments captured of genuine joy and happiness. There has also been a meeting in deep trauma,
heart breaking grief, floods of tears, anger, frustration, restlessness, sweetest
of bliss, joyous union of voices in song, delicious waves of shakti, palpable pulses
of community uniting and being silence, all held in a space of unfathomable
love & grace. Sacred meetings that are not captured via the camera but
fully seen, felt and safely moved through. I have had the blessing to witness
deep fundamental change within the groups alongside my own changes. We know when the work we are doing is
becoming embodied when we see the changes rippling out through our lives.
I have come
to know that all this dance of life is the divine mother, Ma, along with where
I know it all flows from, it is just what is.
This includes all of us in the myriad of expressions that life shows up,
hence the arrival of Ma’s Yoga. To think
that we could take the divine out of yoga is a misunderstanding. Even the impulse to practice is a gift that’s
given, each thought is she, each breath, each movement, all of it arising from
the ocean of her, her waves finding expression till they drop back into her
depths. Ma’s Yoga has arisen naturally
to honour what we all equally are, to give thanks to the divine that keeps
giving the gift of life, the opportunity to create together and to share
whatever is required at these times of great change as a united community.
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